Chaos

I'm pausing my Pokémon marathon to write this post, as I realised I now finally have some time to write after a chaotic few weeks.
A lot has happened in the past two weeks.. I had a lot of exams to take and many assignments to do, which caused me a lot of stress. In the meanwhile I was in the process of moving out and getting my room done, and on top of that my aunt passed away last week. The whole family knew it was gonna happen, as my aunt has been battling cancer for over two years. We always knew she would never get better, but the last few months went so fast. About a month ago she was told that no treatment could help her anymore, and three weeks later she passed away. It was in the middle on my exam week, so that caused me a lot of stress. Luckily I have a very kind mentor who let me take the exam I missed (due to the funeral) today.

The days in between her passing and the funeral were hectic. We'd constantly have our family members coming over during the day, in the evening our neighbours would come visit to ask how we were doing and such (a lot of neighbours are also our friends), and in between that our phone would constantly ring. It was also difficult to see my grandparents cry, it's just heartbreaking..
My dad (who's my aunt's younger brother) stayed calm and would often joke around, but I knew he was upset too. My dad is the kind of guy that doesn't show his emotions around others, and he copes with difficult situations by using humour. I'm actually much the same, now that I think of it..
My uncle (who's my dad's and my aunt's younger brother) on the other hand cried a lot during the funeral. It was pretty strange because he is this 6'2 ft tall strong guy who usually jokes around a lot, and now I saw him break down crying. I think most of my tears came from seeing my family so broken..
After the funeral you could just see the relief my family had. That may sound weird, but we were all just glad that it was over. My aunt had suffered for a long time, and it caused us all just as much stress. So now we finally have time to process everything and let it rest.

The past few days me and my parents have been working on my new room. It's weird to walk around there and see myself living there with three other people, though now that the furniture is there it does starts to feel more like a place I can call mine. I just have to get my stuff there and buy some decorations, but I'll do that after my holiday.

In just two days me and my family will be going to Luxembourg for two weeks. Though none of us feel like we're going on a holiday, I'm sure it'll do us good to be away from home for a while after such a stressful period. It's gonna be a weird summer holiday for sure, but I think we all deserved some time off..

Review: Granny takes a dip bathbomb

I finally found some time to take a bath, and this time I decided to go with the "Granny takes a dip" bathbomb.

Smell: It smells very strong, like perfume, which is something you either love or hate. But once it's in the water it smells like flowers and it smells very sweet and natural, which is absolutely amazing. It smells familiar.. I don't know what it is but it reminds me of when I was younger.

Grade: 8

Look: It looks pretty, and it's kinda cool that it's flat. It looks a bit retro, which reminds me of old times (so the name is perfect).

Grade: 7

Effect: The effect in the water is pretty cool, it released some kind of coloured ring after a while, and the colours are blending, which is pretty. I felt really relaxed and happy. It was extremely hot outside when I took this bath, so in combination with cold water this was very refreshing.

Grade: 8

Afterwards: This bathbomb left a very subtle smell on my skin, though it's not really noticeable. The smell of this bathbomb reminded me of when I was a kid, so a lot of happy memories came back, which I loved.

Total grade (average): 7.6

This one really stood out with its smell, I'll definitely buy another when I get the chance!

It's the final countdown..

Yeah it really feels like that. I just got home from having my first exam. This week is my last week of school. After today I'll have three more exams, two presentations, and some assignments that are due. It's a stressful week, but it's good to know that the end is near.

It's so strange to think that a whole year went by already.. It's my second year in uni.. That feels so weird. It feels like yesterday that I graduated from highschool.. Time goes by so fast, I don't like it..
I've been 18 for over six months now, and yet I still feel like I've just turned 18. We're halfway 2015.. when did that happen?

As a kid time used to go so slow, and years seemed to last forever. But now you blink once and another month has passed. It's ridiculous. People say that's because when you're younger, let's say five, one year is only 1/5 of your entire life. But when you get older that amount will become smaller and thus time will seem to be faster. I don't know if that's true though, but it does make sense.

I don't know if I like this to be honest.. I can remember when I turned 12 and I was like "wow, now I'm a teenager, I'm gonna have such a cool teenage life!". I'm sorry to disappoint you, my younger self, but it's not that life full of parties and friends like you imagined it to be, it was quite boring.
But the point is, it doesn't feel like I grew up. I mean, I feel more mature and such, but that's about it. I don't feel like I'm ready for the adult life yet.. I feel like I still have a long way to go, and I really don't want to be an adult yet. It all feels so strange..

Anyways, I guess I should go back to studying instead of writing here. Maybe if I get the chance I'll go outside to enjoy the weather, which is finally nice for once.
I hope you all have a good day!

Nature is my religion

I've always felt a strong connection with nature, it had the ability to calm me and clear my mind. I like the peace and quietness, because it's something I don't have. As someone with ADHD, my mind can get quite busy, and my body can get restless. I have several tics, which are movements or things I do without noticing, or things I have to do. For example, I have to stretch my fingers about every five minutes or else I'll get restless, I have to crack my wrists, ankles and toes or else I'll get an itchy feeling, I have to stroke edges of tables and other objects or else I can't focus on anything else, and many more things.
Things like that make me very restless, and I often have aches everywhere around my body because of it. But whenever I'm in a forest, or near a creek, or just in a field, I feel at peace. I enjoy the soft summer breeze that caresses my cheeks as I'm riding my bike (how Dutch of me), I enjoy putting my feet in a river and just feel the water touch my feet, I love listening to thunderstorms and just feel so puny, yet amazed by this thing that the earth creates. It's things like that that calm me, better than any medicine has ever done.

Ever since I was little I've had a huge fascination with the universe, the galaxy, the planets, and the stars and the moon. I love thinking about how weird it is that the universe is infinite, or that maybe it isn't infinite and it just stops somewhere, which is equally as weird. I love thinking about how we live our day to day life here on earth while outside of this planet there is so much going on that we don't understand yet. And I like to think about how weird it actually is that we exist here on this planet, just like that.

Now, I've been raised a Christian, but I never really felt a connection with that. I couldn't really find myself in the idea that there is an almighty God that created everything, but then again it would also feel weird to think that there isn't a deity of some sorts watching over us.
Up until a few months ago I just let the religion thing be. I didn't believe in something, but I also didn't believe in nothing. But on one boring night I spend some time with my good friend Google. I've always felt like the universe was a thing that watched over us, and I loved the idea of our soul returning to the earth or the universe when we die. So I googled some things, and eventually I found what I was looking for: pantheism,

Pantheism is a religion or belief that beliefs that we are all equal. No one is superior by being a god. We are the universe, and the universe is us. We are equal to the trees, the water, the animals, and everything else that lives on this planet. It's a very peaceful belief that allows everyone to be who they are, because everyone deserves to be here. I think one of my favourite quotes that I've come across is "You are the universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while", and I think that is beautiful.

I love the universe, and I love nature. I feel blessed that I'm on this earth, and I hope to be here for many more years. I don't have a God, nature is my religion,

Review: Dragon Egg bathbomb

I found some time to take a bath, and this time I chose the Dragon Egg bathbomb, which means there are now only two left to review.

Look: It looks plain, a little boring. Though the tiny spots of colours make me a little curious. They almost look like (dragon) scales that are sticking out, so I'm curious to see what's inside.

Grade: 6.5

Smell: It smells very fresh and strong, but not in a bad way. It has a citrus smell, which I love. But it's not like dominating, which, in my opinion, is very good when it comes to citrus scents.

Grade: 8

Effect: It takes a long time for the bathbomb to dissolve, but that's okay. The cool thing about it is that it really looks like an egg. Other bathbombs immediately start to fizz when they come in contact with water, this one seems to become really soft and a little gooey. As the white part fades away the yellow part of the "egg" becomes visible and it colours the water, making it seem like a real egg. The bathbomb is full of coloured scales which float around in the water. In the core of the egg there are some golden glitters, which give the bath a golden colour. 

Grade: 9

Afterwards: Unlike the previous two bathbombs, this one barely leaves a scent on my skin, nor does my skin feel softer than normal. But I was really impressed by the effect it had, and the citrus smell just calmed me and made me feel really fresh.

Total grade (average): 7.8

So far this is my favourite bathbomb, and I can't wait to test the other two. Let's hope they'll be just as good as this one!

A little puddle

It's been a while since I've posted a life update, but that's because nothing interesting happened. Until now.

I found a nice room, which means I'll be moving out within a month. It's all very exciting and I hope that it'll go well. I'll be having 3 (male) flatmates, and they're really nice. They're like me: geeky and awkward. So I'm sure it'll be great.

No more travelling for me. Train journies always make me so tired. And that's very inconvienent because that means I can only do homework in the weekends and when I'm having a day off.

I hope I'll like it there, because it'll be a big step to move out. As a kid I used to get homesick, so I'm wondering how that will go now. But then again, it's something I'll have to get used to.

Right now I'm saving up for two things: stuff for my room, and a plane ticket so I can meet my datefriend (gender neutral for boy/girlfriend). Ze means the world to me and I really really want to meet hir. Like, I'm sure I'd feel 10x better if I get to hold hir. But my parents are being difficult and are saying I should save up for furniture. My plan was to just thrift shop, but they don't like the idea of that. And new stuff is expensive.. I really don't know what to do, I just hope I'll get enough money for both things..

Okay so why is this post's title "A little puddle"? Well that's because I'm sitting outside with my family, we're BBQing while it's 33°C, and I feel like I'm melting.

Soon I'll be a little puddle of human.. things... 

I like sun, but as soon as it gets above 25°C I'm out. I don't get people (like my sister) who go out and sunbathe in this wearher. Honestly I think I'd just.. vaporate..

Anyways, I hope you'll have a lovely day. Don't melt..

Review: Space girl bathbomb

I've already reviewed this bathbomb before, but since it's entering the "competition" I will review it again.

In case you've forgotten what it looks like, here it is.

Look: It looks pretty cool. I really like the galaxy and planets and such, so it's definitely something that fits me. The red bit on the bathbomb look like some kind of glitters, which is awesome.

Grade: 8

Smell: It smells sweet, and sort of mysterious I guess? I feel like it energizes me; it wakes me up a little, in a good way of course.

Grade: 7.5

Effect: I think most people would expect the water to turn some kind of blueish, but it actually turns red. It sort of looks like blood, but I really like that. It's really awesome actually.

Grade: 7

Afterwards: My skin smells nice, though it's not really a very dominating smell, which is a shame really. I feel actually energized. Not that the bath wasn't relaxing, but I'd say this is a bathbomb for a morning bath rather than an evening bath.

Total grade (average): 7.5

I really like this one, and I can't wait to test the others because I've never used those before.